Names and Identities

So, perhaps I should explain the name thing. I'm referencing the name of my blog and the URL for my blog. My name is Sara Elizabeth and as a child, much of my family referred to me as SaraBeth. As a child, I will admit I didn't care too much for that name, but as I grew older, it became a reminder of how much my family cares for me and so, I grew to love hearing people say, "SaraBeth!" I knew a woman once, much older than me who died several years ago, and her name was also Sara Elizabeth. She, was known as Sally, though. Mrs. Sally told me that she didn't like being called SaraBeth, because the old Texans who said the name slurred it so that it came out more like "SirBeth."

When I began working as a dispatcher at the age of 18, some of the folks I worked with began calling me "SaraBee". I still like that, too.

Well, then, that brings me to the SaraRedHawk. That's a fairly new identity for me, still. Last summer, my parents, my younger sister, and my two sons were taking trip to San Marcos to go tubing on the river. On the trip down, my oldest son, Reece, pointed out a red tailed hawk to his Nonnie. My mother than began to tell a story of an incident that occurred when she was pregnant with me: Shortly before I was due to arrive, she was headed to Burnet to the hospital for an x-ray to see how I was growing. (Yes, apparently they did x-ray pregnant women back then. Perhaps that explains what's wrong with me!) At any rate, while on the road, a red-tailed hawk flew out right in front of her, so close to the truck that it made her duck her head, and it just flew right up the windshield and out of sight. The x-ray taken at the hospital shortly afterward showed me in a frog-like position and sucking my thumb. My mom felt very comforted and happy and has since believed that the red-tailed hawk is her totem animal. Months after that, she and my dad were looking through artwork painted by a Native American artist for a painting of a red-tailed hawk, but all they found were eagles. She asked the artist for any such paintings and told him the story. He told her that if we were a Native American family, my name would have been "Sara Red Hawk." I thought that was a pretty neat story and I, too, have long been fascinated by red-tailed hawks.

There's one other new "identity" I have for myself. Last Saturday, Andy and I attended a Spiritual BreakTHROUGH workshop by Andy Dooley in Fort Worth. It was the first such experience for me and though it still seems just a bit strange, it was a really good workshop. At any rate, one of the activities was to develop a new identity for oneself, in order to try to keep the things we're trying to attract into our lives in mind and in order to try to fall away from the stuff that doesn't work anymore. So, I finally, and perhaps somewhat facetiously, chose "Sara, Queen of the Universe!"

As I am sitting here typing all of this and thinking about it, I have realized how many different names and identities I have. I suppose it's the same for us all. We have our family identities: father, mother, sister, brother, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, etc. We have our work identities: employee, employer, boss, subordinate, colleague...And there are so many others. I guess the trick is figuring out which identity (or identities) serve us and our goals the best and trying to weed out the rest.

It's been an awesome day. Andy's got the grill going and is about to put the steaks on. (The next identity I'll have is dishwasher!) Life is such an awesome adventure.