29 January 2010

awake inside my head


thoughts tumbling and roiling inside my head
unsure where they come from or how long they intend to stay
Jimi Hendrix said, "Manic depression, it's a frustrating mess."
frustrating when the day is so wonderful--when life is so blessed--
and believing and knowing that i am response-able, that i have the ability to choose...
not liking the down-swings; knowing they are finite does not help.
hearing the incredible sounds of my beautiful children and knowing they are a part of me and i of them; knowing that love is intangible but still real.
hearing the sounds of one who loves me, who, in the words of Ingrid Michaelson takes me as i am
recounting again and again the people whom i love and who love me in return, even when i don't feel i deserve it; the things i have for which i am grateful.
i am on a path to the pinnacle and can see but a few steps in front of me at a time
and i keep walking because i do not wish to give in to fear
if i could only know the final destination
but, then, my eyes fixed on the end, i
would miss all that is around me

the words are in my head
are you listening

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